Corgis on a Treadmill.

•August 27, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Too cute NOT to love.

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What to do when Jesus talks to you

•August 25, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Dear Bloggess, So I’ve been on this whole trying to be a better Christian thing lately and I’ve hit a wall. I realized that if Jesus came down from Heaven and told me to leave my children to follow him I totally would NOT do it. So, because I’m a good mom and refuse to abandon my babies, am I going to hell? ~ Katie

Statistically speaking, if you see Jesus and he asks you to do something crazy that’s probably less of a “religious vision” and more of a “tumor pressing on your brain”.  Besides, Jesus would never ask you to desert your kids.  God might though.  God’s kind of a wild card on that stuff.  But the good thing is that he has Jesus up there to calm him down.  Like, remember on Dennis the Menace how Mr. Wilson was basically a good guy except that he got really pissed off easily and Mrs. Wilson would always be the cool-headed one who quietly got Dennis to stop being such a douche and always made Mr. Wilson calm down and not murder Dennis?  Basically God is Mr. Wilson and Jesus is Mrs. Wilson and we’re Dennis.  So basically we can be horrible fuck-ups as long as it’s unintentional and well-meaning and Mrs. Wilson will totally have our backs, but if we suddenly move from digging up all Mr. Wilson’s prize petunias to setting fire to everyone’s garages Mrs. Wilson is probably going to be all “Okay, you know what? I’m calling the cops.” I don’t know who the cops are in this analogy.  Maybe the devil?  I’m not good at analogies.  My point here though is that if you think Jesus is saying anything to you that seems dangerous to your children you shouldn’t worry about it because you probably just have brain cancer.

Linkage: Ask the Bloggess

Twitter $#*!

•August 25, 2010 • Leave a Comment

This crap pisses me off.

Maybe the problem is Twitter, that you’re trying to pick up a WHALE with BIRDS. And only 8 birds at that.

Come on. Haven’t you seen James and the Giant Peach? They had like 50+ birds carrying that big ass peach up into the air.

Watch and learn Twitter. Watch and learn.

Moonlit Cabin – Day 1

•August 25, 2010 • Leave a Comment

So started work the other day on my cross stitch. Here’s my progress.

Excuse the crappy photo. But I don’t have the latest greatest cell phone with 5.0m and 8.0m cameras. Mine is only a 2.0m. Still works ok though.

I think my body is falling apart on me

•August 23, 2010 • 1 Comment

My face is doing it’s allergic reaction thing again.

As you can see, I'm not too happy about it

In case you can’t tell, its around my cheeks, nose, and eyebrows. This actually woke me up in the middle of the night, last night. It itches like crazy, and then because I can’t just sit and scratch it all day, it starts to hurt from itching so much. I have to keep spreading hydrocortisone cream on it constantly, except I left that at home today.

So besides that, for the past 4 days or so, my index/pointer finger on my right hand has flared up again. I got bit by a spider there about 1 1/2 – 2 years ago, and it comes back every other month or so. Apparently whatever crap spiders deposit in you when they bite you, is still in me and hasn’t completely gone away. My finger gets red and sore and swollen with small blistery things.

I added circles to show where the main points of inflammation were

Apparently, I got bit by something a while back on my ring finger as well. So it does the same thing as the other finger. Flares up with inflammation and hurts like heck. Oh and they itch as well. It’s a major annoyance. This just started up last night.

It will get worse than this....

Normally, its one finger or the other, not both. So this is quite an interesting occurrence.

I’m so stressed out about things, my body is physically responding. Because internal stress isn’t enough, I need to exhibit it on my body for all to see.

Moonlit Cabin

•August 19, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Just finished my small 5×7 cross stitch I was working on lately. Will post (maybe?) later about. So that means, I’m starting a new cross stitch today.

Yes, I have 2 huge projects that are incomplete. But I have a goal with these small ones I am doing.

I initially bought the small cross stitch to get myself back into sewing. I have those huge projects that wore me out, so I took breaks from them. Took such a break that when I returned to finish the outlining on one, I was bored. I had lost my enthusiasm with cross stitch, which I really love to do. I took to the craft store and bought a small kit to start from scratch and get myself motivated. Well it worked, because I actually finished this one.

So I got to thinking that since these are such small projects, and if I work on them diligently, I can get one done in 2-3 weeks, if that long even. What a great Christmas gift they would make. The kits are cheap (about 10 bucks, but Hobby Lobby spits out a 40% off coupon every week I can use). I can frame them myself, cutting my own mats and buying all that half off at Hobby Lobby as well. They usually always have mats and frames 50% off. I’m also going to search Ebay for the kits to see if I can find them even cheaper, and possibly the frames too. So I could make these for about $20 bucks each (or less if I find deals) but they would be worth so much more.

Now, I’m not letting myself go overboard though like I normally do. Normally, I get so excited and get so ambitious. I might have run out and bought about 10 kits and started going crazy. Christmas would get here before we know it and I would be freaking out because I can’t get everything done, much less frame them all and blah blah blah. I am letting logic step in this time, because freaking out at Christmas is done without my help. I am buying the kits one at a time. Smart, right? I’m going to frame them asap as well. Just doing some research at the different shops right now to find out what frames I want to use and all that. But once I figure that out, I’m going to frame the one I finished, and not start the third project, until the second one is framed as well. I’m not going to overload myself and convince myself that everyone needs this as a gift. If I only give one to 2 people, then so be it.

So back to new cross stitch. The name of it is Moonlit Cabin and it will look like this:

It’s something new for me as well. I have never worked on dark cloth before. It’s always been white or cream. I’m not sure if it is different or not.

I’ll be posting in progress pictures and all that jazz as well. And if any family reads these posts, don’t think you might be getting one for Christmas. I might decide to not give them out at all!

Missing Missy

•August 18, 2010 • Leave a Comment

**Note from Leah: My coworker Jordan emailed this to me at the end of July. I was meaning to post it here on my blog, but then I got in my car wreck which put me in my slump time (that I’m still working my way out of). Then someone shared it via Facebook the other day, and I thought “I wanted to post it on my blog, so dang it, I’m going to.”**


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. Missing on Harper street and my phone number.

Thanks Shan

——————————————–

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David.

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

——————————————–

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

I never said I don’t like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David.

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

——————————————–

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.

Regards, David.

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

——————————————–

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

——————————————–

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

——————————————–


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

——————————————–

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards, David. 

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

——————————————–

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

——————————————–

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

——————————————–

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

——————————————–

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

**Linkage: 27b/6
From looking at his blog, apparently he does this sort of thing a lot.
**