My submission for team profiles for The Wave:

Leah is 25 years old and a native Houstonian. She is the Night Manager and Dispatch head honcho. She aims to become known worldwide, alongside her co-conspirator, Dr. Boots, as Master of the Universe. In her spare time, she practices wizardry and prepares for the zombie apocalypse.

So I then think of this book....

So…

for the remainder of my bathroom time, I think of elephant poop.

EDIT: So I just realized I wrote “pooping in public”. I just would like to clarify, I DO NOT poop in the wide open public. I use restrooms in public places. In case any of you were questioning…

EDIT #2: Because there are some people that might NOT know what I’m talking about…

It’s my car. My toyota Matrix.

Because ever since I got in my wreck and my car has been MIA, I have been MIA in. In internet contribution, productivity, cleanliness (yes, I am ashamed to admit I have been a slob lately). To sum it all up: LIFE. That’s right. I’ve been MIA in LIFE ya’ll.

I’m not sure if my Matrix being the source of my power has something to do with the fact that it’s called a Matrix. Maybe I need to turn to the movie to find deeper meaning to this phenomenon. Although I haven’t seen the trilogy in its entirety. Must put on things to watch list.

My first thought is, am I ‘the One’? If the Matrix is the source of my power and ‘being’ so to speak, is there an unknown prophecy written about me and my car? To take direct quote from the movie “When the Matrix was first built there was a man born inside that had the ability to change what he wanted, to remake the Matrix as he saw fit. It was this man who freed the first of us and taught us the truth – When he died, the Oracle prophesied his return and envisioned that his coming would hail the destruction of the Matrix.” Am I the one to teach the world the truth and lead everyone towards freedom?

Now while I know this isn’t true, per se, it did lead me to a different synopsis. My brain seemingly grabbed hold of this thought and dived even further than I intended. It could be said that we are ALL ‘the One’.

Furthermore, the movie illustrates that the real world we live in is something completely different than the Matrix in our minds. That who we see ourselves as, is something completely different than who we really are.

Take the “There is no spoon” scene.

The spoon of course looks real. (If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it has to be a duck) Not so in this scenario. Rather metaphorical of course. It shows us that in order to change the world, we must change ourselves. It isn’t about manipulating your surroundings. Things are things. People are people. Only you know who you truly are, and only you can do anything about being anything different. Whether it’s in terms of personal growth, or actual accomplishments and goals.

The dictionary defines matrix as an environment or material in which something develops; a surrounding medium or structure. It even went so far as to give me an example sentence, that tied in all to well with my stream of though. Free choices become the matrix of human life.

We each live in our Matrix, so to speak. A world created in which we develop. We each have the ability to change things. To grow. To mold the malleable clay that is our life.

The world is ours to bend at will.

Plus, the dog’s name is Amadeus. How awesome is that.

Linkage: Best of Craigslist

Found via Ben Folds on Twitter. Thanks Ben for providing the funny for the day

Dear Bloggess, So I’ve been on this whole trying to be a better Christian thing lately and I’ve hit a wall. I realized that if Jesus came down from Heaven and told me to leave my children to follow him I totally would NOT do it. So, because I’m a good mom and refuse to abandon my babies, am I going to hell? ~ Katie

Statistically speaking, if you see Jesus and he asks you to do something crazy that’s probably less of a “religious vision” and more of a “tumor pressing on your brain”.  Besides, Jesus would never ask you to desert your kids.  God might though.  God’s kind of a wild card on that stuff.  But the good thing is that he has Jesus up there to calm him down.  Like, remember on Dennis the Menace how Mr. Wilson was basically a good guy except that he got really pissed off easily and Mrs. Wilson would always be the cool-headed one who quietly got Dennis to stop being such a douche and always made Mr. Wilson calm down and not murder Dennis?  Basically God is Mr. Wilson and Jesus is Mrs. Wilson and we’re Dennis.  So basically we can be horrible fuck-ups as long as it’s unintentional and well-meaning and Mrs. Wilson will totally have our backs, but if we suddenly move from digging up all Mr. Wilson’s prize petunias to setting fire to everyone’s garages Mrs. Wilson is probably going to be all “Okay, you know what? I’m calling the cops.” I don’t know who the cops are in this analogy.  Maybe the devil?  I’m not good at analogies.  My point here though is that if you think Jesus is saying anything to you that seems dangerous to your children you shouldn’t worry about it because you probably just have brain cancer.

Linkage: Ask the Bloggess

This crap pisses me off.

Maybe the problem is Twitter, that you’re trying to pick up a WHALE with BIRDS. And only 8 birds at that.

Come on. Haven’t you seen James and the Giant Peach? They had like 50+ birds carrying that big ass peach up into the air.

Watch and learn Twitter. Watch and learn.